There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you
I know my most recent posts have been a heavy vent about the medical system. It’s the heavy weight I carry after seeing more than 20 doctors and still walking away without clear answers about my PCS. When you are lost in the labyrinth of an mTBI, it is difficult to see the daylight.
But today, I’m shifting my focus. This post is for the people who have made a genuine difference in my concussion recovery – you are the reason I keep going.
To the Professionals Who Listened
– To NB: the first physiotherapist I saw right after my car accident. You saw what I couldn’t yet see, and what no one else had noticed. You taught me that work was secondary and that I needed to listen to my body and brain when they were screaming for rest. Thank you for guiding me through the fog when I was so lost in those first few weeks.
– To my Vestibular Rehabilitation Physiotherapist: You were a rare breath of fresh air at a time when I truly believed no one could help. Thank you for listening to my story and respecting my journey. You make me feel seen, even when progress feels minimal, validating my struggles and adapting every step of my recovery to meet me exactly where I am.
– To my Long-Term Physiotherapist: You have never given up on me. Thank you for constantly trying new approaches and for looking at my case with fresh eyes, rather than just conforming to the standard narrative.
– To my Psychologist: Thank you for helping me navigate the complexities of medical trauma and for encouraging me to grow. You gave me the tools to start processing this life-altering experience through writing.
To Those who Inspired Me
– To my friend Jen: In the middle of my darkest days, you encouraged me to write a book. You planted a seed in my mind that eventually grew into this blog. Thank you for that spark of inspiration right when I needed it most.
– To my Sister: You believed in this blog from the moment I told you about it. You made it a reality by building this website and helping me keep it updated. Thank you for giving me a voice. I will always be grateful for the time you’ve dedicated to me.
– To Taylor Swift: Your music has helped me in ways I can’t fully explain. At a time when I felt invisible, your lyrics made the loneliness disappear. You put words to the feelings I couldn’t yet acknowledge. I’ll continue to use your lyrics to tell my story, because your words reflect so much of my own truth. As you said in your New York Magazine interview, there is no such thing as a feeling that is “too true.”
To My People
– To our Friends: To those who listen to me and help us relentlessly with childcare so we can manage the logistics of this journey, we truly could not do this without you.
– To my PCS Twin: Sharing this experience with someone who truly understands has made the world feel a little less lonely.
– To my Mum and Dad: Thank you for being my safe space whenever I am frustrated, sad, or angry. You are always there for our kids, caring for them with so much love. I know you pray for me every day, and I will always be grateful for that.
– To my Kids: For loving me exactly as I am now. For the hugs and kisses that heal me in ways medicine never could. You are my why.
– To my Husband: You’ve had the hardest job of all. You’re the one who sees the tears, the headaches, and the fatigue that no one else does. Thank you for the quiet ways you support me, your endless patience, the extra jobs you take on, and the way you’ve adapted your life without complaint. I know this isn’t the path we planned, but there is no one else I’d rather have by my side. It’s deeply reassuring to know that you are here in health and in illness.
Taylor’s words beautifully capture your love for me.
‘All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothin”
To My Strength
– To God: Thank you for the strength I didn’t know I had. In the moments when the pain was too loud and the answers were too few, thank you for being the quiet peace that kept me going. I may not understand the “why” of this journey yet, but I am grateful for the grace that has carried me this far.
To my loved ones, those who listened, believed me, inspired me, and stayed: thank you.
‘There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you’
The Concussion Girl
- Swift, Taylor. ‘Sweet Nothing’, Midnights. Taylor Swift. 2022. ↩︎
- Swift, Taylor. ‘thanK you aIMee’, The Tortured Poets Department. Taylor Swift, 2024 ↩︎