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I haven’t met the new me yet
A few weeks ago, I was given my personal belongings from my old classroom. It has been two years since I taught my last lesson due to my ongoing concussion, and in that time, I had forgotten just how much I had gathered over the years. I haven’t unpacked the boxes yet. I’ve had a…
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it’s time to go
Since the start of my brain injury, Taylor’s music has been my nervous system’s barometer. When I subconsciously reach for tracks like Look What You Made Me Do or I Hate It Here, it’s a clear signal that I’ve crossed into high alert. In the world of Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS), these songs are my validation when my…
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It’s all just a blur
It’s taken me two years to find the right words to describe my symptoms and to connect the dots of my experience. That is the reality of a mild Traumatic Brain Injury (mTBI) and Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS); you are living through a physical experience you cannot put into language because, as Taylor sings, “It’s all…
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There wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you
I know my most recent posts have been a heavy vent about the medical system. It’s the heavy weight I carry after seeing more than 20 doctors and still walking away without clear answers about my PCS. When you are lost in the labyrinth of an mTBI, it is difficult to see the daylight. But…
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right where you left me
Ever since my crash, there’s been a common assumption that I have PTSD. It became the “easy” explanation for everything I was going through. But that label never felt right. It felt like they were trying to fit my experience into a box because it’s easier to explain it that way than to admit that…
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I want you to know I’m a mirrorball
For two years, I’ve been living with Post-Concussion Syndrome (PCS). And for two years, I have unknowingly been a ‘mirrorball.’ In the world of brain injury, we call it “masking.” But Taylor’s lyrics capture the exhaustion of this survival tactic better than any textbook. “I want you to knowI’m a mirrorballI’ll show you every version…
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The Life of a Sourdough Girl
After my brain injury, I had to stop sewing. It sounds small to some, but for me, it was huge. It was simply too difficult to continue sewing as every stitch made my PCS symptoms worse. Because I was a talented sewer before the accident, losing that hobby felt like losing part of my identity.…
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Everything you lose is a step you take
“Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by itI’d like to be my old self againBut I’m still trying to find it” All Too Well, Red For the last two years, I’ve lived inside those lyrics from Red‘s Track Five. Like Taylor, I’ve felt paralysed, constantly looking back, trying to find the person I used to be.…
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Am I allowed to cry?
For the last two years, I haven’t just been recovering from a concussion; I have been navigating the five stages of grief. Stage One: Denial “Just breathe, just relax, it’ll be okay” Electric Touch, From the Vault, Speak Now, Taylor’s Version My denial began the second the accident happened. At the time, I didn’t understand…
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hell was the journey, but it brought me heaven
“hell was the journey but it brought me heaven” invisible string, folklore Since I began struggling with concussion symptoms and vestibular issues, these words have felt incredibly literal – especially when it comes to going on holiday. There is a common assumption that because I continue to go on holidays with my family, it’s a…
