Health / Mental Health / Personal Development / Self-advocating / Self-reflection

Write what you know, looking backwards might be the only way to move forward

“And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin’ backwards
Might be the only way to move forward” ¹

The Manuscript, TTPD

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Recently, my psychologist, my own personal ‘Professor,’ gave me the same assignment Taylor describes in The Manuscript. She told me to write what I know. So, here I am, ‘looking backwards to find a way forward.’

I know writing a blog about a concussion while having a concussion is a challenge. However, I’ve realised that the cognitive and emotional benefits outweigh the risks, especially as I adhere to a strict pacing schedule.

I’m writing this blog, The Life of a Concussion Girl, for the following purposes:

1. To Process Emotions: I’m turning my emotions into sentences, so they stop looping in my head, enabling me to process the complexity of life with a concussion.

2. To Document Progress: This will allow me to look back and see tangible evidence of recovery, and celebrate small wins that I so often miss in my struggles.

3. To Reconstruct My Identity and Foster Post-Traumatic Growth: I aim to create a new narrative that helps me accept that my injury and symptoms do not define who I am. I also want to find meaning in my injury by becoming an advocate. Through this process, I hope to discover a renewed sense of personal strength and develop a deeper appreciation for life in the face of this challenge.

4. To Build Community & Offer Hope: I need to connect with the global PCS community, those who know what I know, and feel what I feel. This will allow me to find the validation and understanding I have been missing, a vital part of any recovery journey. By sharing my story through this blog, I’m turning my recovery into a source of hope and connection for others.

5. To Keep Loved Ones Informed: I’m sharing the real version of my journey here to conserve my limited energy. Having to explain the impact of my symptoms to my friends and family or pretending that everything is fine is draining. By writing it here, I can keep everyone informed while saving my battery for what matters most: healing.

6. To Raise Awareness: I aim to show the impact of these invisible conditions on our friends, family, employers, and politicians, which otherwise might be overlooked. This digital platform will help normalise our experiences and reduce societal stigma.

7. To Humanise Concussion and Vestibular Struggles: I want to give a voice to these misunderstood and invisible symptoms, turning clinical terms into human stories so that others can truly see what we navigate every day.

8. Improve Focus, Concentration, and Cognitive Function: Writing requires me to organise thoughts, find words, and sustain attention. It’s not just a blog; it’s a form of cognitive rehabilitation that helps me rebuild the brain pathways that were affected by the injury.

I know that the task of ‘write what you know’ is going to be challenging, because the truth is, my journey hasn’t finished, and a lot of what I know is pain. But I know it’s necessary.

This blog is ‘my manuscript,’ a way to make sense of the years when I felt so broken and lost. I am confident that one day I will be at peace and able to borrow these lines from Taylor.

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“And at last,
She knew what the agony had been for (…)
Now and then, I reread the manuscript
But the story isn’t mine anymore.” ²

The Manuscript, TTPD

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The Concussion Girl

1. Swift, Taylor ‘The Manuscript,’ The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift, 2024. ↩︎
2. Swift, Taylor ‘The Manuscript,’ The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift, 2024 ↩︎