Are You Ready For It?

I sustained a concussion and whiplash at the start of 2024 when I was involved in a car accident on my way to work on an early, cold, wintry morning.

Back then, a concussion was a foreign concept to me. Terms like post-concussion syndrome, invisible illness, vestibular dysfunction, tinnitus, whiplash, or the vagus nerve weren’t on my radar. And the word dizziness only meant… feeling dizzy. I was a firm believer in the NHS. Life was full: my children were three and one, and I was transitioning back to teaching after a four-month family adventure across Europe during my second maternity leave. I also enjoyed Taylor Swift’s music, but was not a devotee of her songwriting.

Since that life-changing accident, my life has changed completely. I have become an expert in concussion and vestibular health. I was signed off for 20 months and ultimately had to walk away from my teaching career because the NHS failed to provide me with the support I needed to get better, a very painful chapter in my concussion journey. My children are now five and three years old, and they are growing up with a mum who looks fine but doesn’t feel right. Lastly, I have found a profound lifeline in music, and I proudly identify as a hardcore ‘Swiftie’.

The last two years have turned me into The Concussion Girl. The mother, the wife, the daughter, the sister, the friend, the runner, the sewer, the teacher, the patient, the Swiftie that has been struggling with daily severe headaches, dizziness, nausea, brain fog, neck and shoulder pain, light and noise sensitivity, sensory overload, confusion, cognitive fatigue … the list of symptoms is long, boring and exhausting.

To the outside world, I always look fine … As Taylor once wrote:

“I can show you lies.” ¹

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart, TTPD

Inside, I always feel so off.

Listening to Taylor Swift’s music during the last two years has helped me in ways that I can’t explain. Her talent, emotional rawness, and ability to transform her personal experiences into universal narratives had always resonated with me. However, since the accident, I have been able to connect with her songwriting on a deeply personal level, which has been a huge part of my healing journey.

Her lyrics have prompted self-reflection and empowerment. Have made the loneliness of my experiences disappear. I felt seen when I felt so invisible. She has been able to put into words feelings that I struggled to articulate, let alone acknowledge or understand. Look What You Made Me Do became my anthem for dealing with a boss who lacked empathy. mad woman helped me to process the medical gaslighting I faced when seeking answers. I listened to right where you left me to process the paralysis I’ve felt since the car accident. And it’s time to go reflected the heavy emotions I felt when I had to walk away from a job I loved. Therefore, in this blog, I’ll use Taylor Swift’s lyrics to show how I’ve found my own story reflected in her lyrics.

This blog is a therapeutic tool for me to stay in touch with my thoughts and emotions, but more importantly, it is for you. To anyone navigating life with a concussion, whether here in the UK or elsewhere, I hope sharing my story inspires you to keep advocating for yourself, searching for answers, and seeking the treatment you deserve for a better life.